For a long time, advertising on television was a no-brainer. It was as if the technology was invented solely to plug the full, rich tobacco flavor of Winston cigarettes. Entire game shows were branded by coffeemakers. The good lord Kraft smiled and all was well.

I still think it’s a viable resource for advertisers, but some of them are starting to sweat the advent of DVR culture. To them, that’s thousands of potential consumers, breezing past entire pods, catching only a glimpse of the last spot before Heroes resumes. As usual, sea change in response to new tech is just not an option. Small, petulant resistances are the order of the day.

Early on in the short history of DVR, TiVo offered a feature involving a five-button code that could “click” right past every 30-second ad. They didn’t promote the function, and referred to it as something designed for internal use that hackers simply discovered on their own. This, of course, is akin to the secret menu at In-N-Out Burger, in that everyone knows about it – except when you order a double-double “protein style,” you’re theoretically not screwing over the factory that makes the buns.* TiVo’s as much of a brand as any of the others, with their own product to sell, but they understood the latent animosity viewers had toward ads and they worked it like a punch press. Go them.

So advertisers had to spread their messages elsewhere, meaning Mountain Dew poured into our movie theaters with pre-pre-show spots, online pop-ups appeared with more frequency than Suck in Deep Impact and even seemingly friendly drinkers at clubs and bars could now be “undercover marketers.” Lately, it seems they’re more intent on tracking us than ever (see: Viacom ordering access to YouTube user data) to achieve that holy grail known as targeted marketing. If we’re not going to give them our eyeballs for thirty seconds, then by God, they’ll take whatever we’re giving YouTube!

“All right staff, I’ve been perusing this user data and apparently America loves watching bunnies get policed by irritable chickens…What are you waiting for? Get out of here! I want thirty solid gold chicken-and-bunny ideas by 3 PM sharp!”

I say these advertisers are too quick to assume the role of Decency-Smashing Corporate Monoliths, especially if they hope to earn our trust. Some (many) actually like to watch Super Bowl ads because the joy taken in those spots’ creative processes is visible. Also, Burt Reynolds might show up. But when you can’t guarantee a Super Bowl-sized audience to match what you’re paying your team, you can simply develop new and interesting ways of presenting pretty mediocre content.

That means intriguing (read: often confusing) narrative segments, dispersed in multiple short-form bursts over the course of an entire show, or sometimes taking place during an entire pod, as Orbit gum did for the 2008 MTV Movie Awards. As long as they seem less like ads and more like viral comedy bits, the better.

The CW, who’s got to be eager to attract advertisers**, has predictably been leading the charge with this stuff. They debuted “content wraps,” which disguises product marketing within 2-minute story segments, somewhat like Orbit’s work but less overt. Included is an excerpt from the LA Times, due to its hilarity.

It helps to think of a content wrap as a sandwich. The products that advertisers want to sell are the meat. The mini-programming elements wrapped around them are the bread that holds it all together and – in CW executives’ dreams, at least – makes consumers want to take a bite and keep on eating.

Last year, the CW rolled out a similar concept but for ten-second spots, branded them “CWickies” and Electronic Arts went for it. Large filmic advertising blocks make sense, but why would companies pay for less airtime?

Part of it may have to do with research on attention spans, or market testing that shows auds respond better to faster, punchier ads. But I think these are more logical byproducts of a greater source known as Corporate Panic. Shakeups like DVR convince advertisers to try something, anything new. They store up money for days like these, and now they’re throwing it at the wall to see what sticks, what “engages” us.

Then again, I suppose it’s easy to say that bigwigs will do anything but cooperate with the tide of technology, when trade publications did their best to integrate the internet as part of their identity - and we all know how that’s turning out.

Oh well, the omelet’s almost done anyway.

* And that’s assuming you and everyone else in the restaurant hates the buns and considers them a burden on your otherwise delicious burger. When really, the bun’s one of the best parts.

** Aliens in America is a good show. Or was. I don’t know if it’s still on.